May 2, 2015

A "Flashback Friday" story I read on my workplace intranet. Revisited words from an old book. A verse from a song I haven't listened to in years. Things jump out at me in a different way now. With a new understanding about life.


Leif says his brother's name now. Lili, he calls him.

I tell him that soon we will go to the mountains for Liam's fourth birthday.

My season of grief is approaching. I can feel it in my whole body.

April 17, 2015

flashback friday.

In roughly 1924-1925 a premature six-month-old baby was born, but given no chance at survival by the attending physician.

A nurse by the name of Nurse Amour sprang into action and used her ingenuity to create a homemade incubator out of an empty beer bottle, heated oil, copper wires, wood boxes, sheets and a bed frame all placed on top of a stove.

Her efforts paid off - the baby survived.

-The Lachine Hospital, Montréal, Québec

March 5, 2015

Pine tees creaking. Snow pants swishing. Sled whizzing.

"More, more!" he calls up when I stop to take a picture.

I pick up the pace.


His laughter fills up all the woods. And my broken heart.

/more pictures here

March 2, 2015

"I prefer winter and fall, when you feel the bone structure of the landscape - the loneliness of it, the dead feeling of winter. Something waits beneath it, the whole story doesn't show."

-Andrew Wyeth

February 24, 2015

February 16, 2015


He points up to his brother's portrait and looks to me.

God so much of Liam's face is still in his. Both of them so like their father.

I wonder what Liam would have looked like now.

I watch Leif grow up and I wonder about everything his brother would have been.


"Yes, love. Baby. Liam."

"Mommy, baby dodo?"

"Yes, my darling. Baby dodo."

January 20, 2015


I try to articulate everything he means to me, but there's no possible way.