May 23, 2012
These are some shots from an afternoon spent in Old Montreal. We walked on old cobblestone streets. We explored. Reflected. Photographed.
The last time we visited this part of the city I was 3 months pregnant and we were celebrating J's birthday. We went out for dinner and then we walked to the Old Port. We stopped to look at the boats and circus tents and talked about how awesome it was going to be to do all these things with our baby. Now we walk the same streets and talk about how awesome things would, could and should have been.
Losing Liam has changed everything in my life. I've talked about how everything is different, but there is one thing that has remained the same and that's my love for Liam. I loved him every minute of every one of the 163 days he lived inside me. I loved him the day he was born and died. And I continue to love him 9 1/2 months later.
I'm still pushing for the life that I want. I hope to conceive again and bring a baby home to nurture and love and raise. But no matter what the future holds, Liam will always be interwoven in my life. I know that every moment would, could and should be so different. I know that I will always wonder. And I know that as long as i'm still here, I will always love him.